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Homestuck: Act 6 Act 3
|previous = Act 6 Intermission 2 }} 'Act 6 Act 3 ' is part of Act 6. It is the current act and is untitled for now. Click the " " to open the page from Homestuck. * The scene zooms out of the Intermission's curtain and moves over to a declaration of the end of the 3rd year of Homestuck before zooming into the curtain for Act 6 Act 3. * The curtains of Act 3 open on Jane's land. See Myststuck for details. ** UU welcomes Jane to LOCAH, while avoiding questions about what her 'brother' has done to mess stuff up. ** Roxy berates Jane for losing her chance with Jake, despite her whole neighborhood being on fire. ** Jake appears to be in trouble, as the volcano next to his house is exploding. By the end of their conversation, he is unconscious. **Jane solves the puzzles and enters the Maid's room. ** The action pauses to let players verify they have completed the first part of Myststuck, while offering for those who haven't. ** In the second part of Myststuck, Jane continues onwards and converses with Dirk's auto-responder before finding her house and sending it back to the surface. Upon arriving back at her house she discovers God Tier Gamzee with Aradia's music box time machines. * Jane approaches Gamzee and he attempts to sell her a number of interestingly colored potions. * Jane becomes annoyed with Gamzee's potion selling and asks him to leave her property. * Gamzee decides to respect Jane's wishes but declares she needs someone to be her guide and opens her fridge revealing the corpses of Tavros and Vriska before throwing both of them into Jane's sprite, much to her horror. * This creates Tavrisprite, a combination of Tavros and Vriska's personalities. * Tavrisprite starts to violently freak out, while Jane tries to calm it down. Jane fails to calm it down and it Tavrispl♉des. * Tavros and Vriska appear on the Land of Sand and Zephyr. * Tavros and Vriska share their experiences as Tavrisprite. While Tavros got to experience Vriska's self-confidence, she thought of it as a nightmare. They also both claim responsibility for Vriska's murder of Tavros. She also tells of her resent towards being chased by a freaky orange dude, and feels that cosmic forces are at work suppressing both her and Tavros's time in the spotlight. Vriska decides to "fuck shit up", and psychically forces Tavros to agree. * Back on Earth, Jake has lost consciousness while exploring a time capsule beneath his island. In a dream bubble Jake remembers his thirteenth birthday in 2008, Dirk sends him the head of the Brobot, the last piece needed to complete it. The two discuss an upcoming movie called Avatar (which Dirk mocks and claims to have already seen), but when the conversation turns to how Dirk is able to build technology that even Jake's Grandma couldn't make, Dirk drops some not-so-subtle hints before revealing the truth: He and Roxy live in the year 2422 - or 411 P.C. (Post Condescension) - and are likely the last humans alive. They are able to communicate with Jane and Jake with a special version of Pesterchum provided by UU. * Jake completes the Brobot, which goes into "Stalking Mode" and flees immediately. Dirk begins telling the story of how the Crockercorp Baroness launched her world domination campaign on November 11, 2011 and spent the next few decades solidifying her rule and crushing all attempt at rebellion. The Condesce's primary goal was to remake Earth into a new Alternia by populating it with Lusus and replacing humanity with cloned trolls, but the clones were destroyed by Gl'bgolyb's Vast Glub, so she imposed the troll reproduction system on humanity instead using lusidroids and robotic Imperial Drones. As the centuries passed, the human population was devastated through global flooding caused by the Condesce's melting of the ice caps, failed genetic experiments designed to give humans a Hemospectrum, and other atrocities committed by Earth's new ruler. Eventually, Dirk and Roxy were the only humans left. Dirk was forced to raise himself, while Roxy was raised by the Carapacians (the citizens of Prospit and Derse) in one of their floating colonies. Jake says he want to fight the Condesce when she arrives in three years, but Dirk warns him that many others have tried and failed to defeat her. * Dirk asks Jake what he remember about his grandma. Jake tells the story of the night she died. He found her dead with three large fang marks and a trail of blood coming from the forest. Then Jake's house explodes and he is forced to burn his grandma's corpse and live in his room globe that he found in the forest and had survived the explosion mostly intact. * Dirk recounts to Jake what he has heard of his grandma. She was raised by the Baroness along with Jane's grandpa, but ran away at a young age. She took the last name English because of its sensitivity to the Baroness. She starts a competing technology corporation heavily branded in ways to make the Baroness angry. * Dirk explains that his and Roxy's ancestors followed in Jake's grandma's footsteps. Roxy's Mom wrote the Complacency of the Learned novels as an allegorical version of the Baroness's origins, while Dirk's Bro filled his Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff movie series with symbolism that mocked the Batterwitch and/or held a hidden message. Dirk offers to send Jake the entire series, noting that as part of the SBaHJ "experience", Bro made it all but impossible to actually buy the films. * Dirk continues to explain how his Bro and Roxy's Mom knew of his and Roxy's arrival in the future and made preparations for their survival. The two went on to lead a rebellion against the Condesce that ultimately failed and ended with their deaths, but also killed many of the enemy's celebrity allies. He goes on to explain how the Condesce's plans were aided by sympathizers, including Guy Fieri, who would be promoted to the Supreme Court while the other Justices mysteriously vanished, leaving him the sole Justice of the Supreme Court until he eventually became High Chaplain of Interstellar War. In this capacity, Fieri caused the deaths of five billion people, making him "the third and final Antichrist." Eventually democracy collapsed with the last free election electing Presidents Jay and Dope to become the first and final Dual-Presidents of the United States. * Dirk elaborates on how the nation descended into chaos after the Jay and Dope become the Presidents. After the Presidents set up death camps to eliminate all those deemed insufficiently mirthful, Bro had enough of them, and challenged them to a duel. He killed both of them, then rose into the air riding his Unreal Air, as he was never seen again. * Dirk explains that Roxy's Mom was taking down the High Chaplain, Guy Fieri. She gouged his eyes with a pair of needles and rode his torso to the bottom of the bloody falls. * Dirk speculates on what happened to the ancestors after they defeated the sympathizers. With her human puppet rulers dead, the Condesce seized control of the planet directly, and it is likely that Mom and Bro confronted and fought her. However, the Condesce's power levels would have been impossible to defeat in combat, so the two almost certainly died fighting. * Dirk and Jake continue conversing, and Dirk soon reveals to Jake that he is in a dream bubble. He tells Jake that he is neither asleep nor Dirk's dead dream self, that he is a separate version of Dirk that exists only in Jake's mind. He goes on to explain that Heroes of Heart live a splintered existence and walk the path of self, and that Pages have a lot of untapped potential. A branch of one of the trees from Terezi's forest is seen crawling up the staircase, indicating that Terezi and Aranea may be visiting Jake's dream bubble. * Projected Dirk asks Jake if he wants to discuss his feelings towards the real Dirk; Jake declines as he is uncomfortable talking about it. Projected Dirk informs Jake that the spider ghost will be arriving soon. * Aranea arrives and Jake is too nervous to talk to her properly. The situation is worsened as Projected Dirk berates Jake for being so nervous and Jake yells at him, not realizing Aranea can't see the projection. Projected Dirk threatens to take control of Jake's mind and in front of Aranea if he can't start talking to her, but when Jake proves defiant, he leaves in disgust. * Jack Noir awakens in a jail cell on Prospit. There are no useful items to escape with, what looks like a key on the ground is just a crude drawing, and there is definitely no Pumpkin - until one is appearified into the cell as food for Jack. * Jack refuses to eat the pumpkin and looks outside, where he sees a single guard on watch. He shouts obscenities at the guard, but gets no reaction. * Jack inspects the pumpkin and finds a message from the Courtyard Droll carved on its side. It tells him to look inside the pumpkin. Jack speculates it may be something useful, such as a bomb. * Jack is unable to smash the pumpkin open because if it is a bomb it will explode. He searches for a carving apparatus to cut open the pumpkin. He breaks a spike off a wall outside his window, and uses it to carve open the pumpkin. * Jack opens the lid to reveal... a whole bunch of knives and a "You're Welcome" note, courtesy of the Droll. * Jack is angry that the Droll didn't send him a bomb, but decides he can still use the knives somehow. * Jack empties the contents of the pumpkin onto the floor and finds a copy of Terrier Fancy magazine buried under the knives. Not wanting anyone to find the illicit material, he disguises the magazine by folding it into the shape of a knife. * Jack goes to the window and throws a knife at the guard, hoping to get his attention. Unfortunately, the guard is lethally wounded and dies instantly, forcing Jack to come up with another plan. * Jack examines the cell door and tries to open it by knocking on it. His fist accidentally goes through the door's window and knocks out a passing guard. The guard's keyring breaks, spilling keys all over the floor and out of Jack's reach. * Jack tries to use one of the knives to pick up the keys, but is still unable to reach them. Another guard notices the escape attempt and radios for backup. Jack tries to persuade the guard to pick up the keys the other guard dropped, but his method of persuasion consists of stabbing the guard to death before he can get the keys. * With his escape plan falling apart, Jack goes to the other side of his cell and finds one other thing worth noting, a transport pad used as a garbage disposal system. As he examines it, a baton-wielding Prospitian regulator enters the cell, ready to deliver a beating to the unruly prisoner. * We attempt to be the other guy, but the other guy in this case is the dead guard outside, so the attempt ends quickly. We resume control of Jack, who has just killed the regulator and is currently slamming his face against the door. * Jack decides to give the regulator a proper burial, severs his head and shoves it in the pumpkin. Jack modifies the transport pad to transport items to the Prospitian throne room and sends the pumpkin containing the head off. The pumpkin appears in front of the White Queen with a message from Jack to look inside. * Jack hears the sound of footsteps behind him and turns around to see an army of regulators has entered the cell. We be the other guy while Jack is beaten by the regulators offscreen. * Back in the Dream Bubble, Aranea has given a long winded introduction to Jake and reveals to him that she possesses psychic powers which are limited on humans to sensing their emotional state. She mentions that Jake feels shy and nervous, causing him to explain how his ranting to nothing was due to the Dirk projection. Aranea begins to explain the purpose of their meeting before asking about Jake's life, but as Jake begins to describe it the Dirk projection criticizes Jake on his dirty thoughts, much to Jake's embarrassment. * Aranea finds one of Jake's Spider-Girl comics and a humiliated Jake tries to take it from her. She notices his obvious attraction to her and tells him that this isn't the first time someone has had flushed feelings for her. * An embarrassed Jake attempts to wake up but Aranea calms him down by explaining how she feels about his feelings and goes on to explain the downside of her abilities and how some people abused them. Aranea continues to explain how the castes in the Hemospectrum worked on her iteration of Alternia and the responsibilities that came with caste and powers. Jake brings up how this was distorted in the scratched version of her planet by a demon when he wonders if it is the same one he is named after. Aranea, surprised that Jake knows of the demon, reveals she hadn't intended to tell him about that because it would overcomplicate things. Jake asks for clarification on the matter but is answered vaguely. * Aranea reveals more about Lord English, informing Jake that the demon cannot be killed and exists in multiple incarnations across multiple universes. In the future, however, Jake may be able to defeat English in combat, which would be the first time such a victory will have occurred in any universe and a sign of hope that English may one day be destroyed forever. The two leave Jake's room and walk through Aranea's planet, and Aranea tells Jake that a relationship between them will never work since he is alive and she isn't. She suggests they could be together if he were to die before physically aging too much, but expresses her hope that it won't come to that and that Jake is able to live out his life to its fullest. Both are mocked by the Dirk projection. The two are going to visit Meenah, who abdicated her position as next-in-line to the throne of Alternia due to her distrust of authority. While living in exile on Alternia's pink moon, Meenah discovered the Sgrub game and tricked the 11 other trolls into playing it with her. * On Derse, Jack's arrest has left the Draconian Dignitary in charge of all archagent duties. The Dignitary is tasked with managing all of Jack's paperwork - which he has no intention of doing - and stopping Dirk's attacks against the dark kingdom. Normally, he would use the Cubicle of Vigilance to locate the rogue Prince, but Dirk has destroyed it, forcing the Dignitary to go get help. * After asking the Condesce for assistance, the Dignitary was offered command of Dronegorg, the flagship battlemech of the Alternian fleet. * However the Dignitary declined, feeling it would be a bad look for him and that only "an utter fool" would enjoy it, and instead convinced the Condesce to hand over the Queen's Ring. * The "Ascend" music plays as the Dignitary prepares to put on the ring, but he decides that the music is too dramatic, stops the record with a cigarette and puts on another, more casual record. "I'm a Member of the Midnight Crew" plays while several scenes that match the song's lyrics appear, some of which are from earlier in the comic. New scenes include Jade and Davesprite reading MS Paint Adventures together, Spades Slick reentering Hussie's apartment to drink some milk, Vriska punching Hussie in the face, Dirk and Roxy battling the Imperial Drones on Earth, and the Condesce with a mind-controlled God Cat in her lap. As the song ends, the Dignitary puts on the ring. * The ring activates, and the Dignitary transforms into... himself. * The Dignitary tests out his new abilities. He turns himself invisible, then dismisses the skill as a parlor trick that won't help him find Dirk. Instead, he unleashes the ring's full power: the Red Miles emerge from his hand and spread across Derse. * On LOCAH, Jane searches for her missing Dad by looking for items he left behind. The trail appears to go cold after she finds his car, the last item that would have been in his possession, but Lil' Sebastian spots another clue nearby: Dad's wallet. * Jane picks up the wallet and finds a note from Dad inside congratulating her on being strong enough to lift the piano. She assumes he meant to leave a more relevant note, but got them mixed up due to his always leaving notes for special occasions. * Jane uses the wallet to retrieve the car, then gets pestered by the AR. It asks her to earn grist by destroying the car, and when Jane refuses, it tells her she must find some way of getting grist, such as fighting monsters or collecting relics, in order to level up and win the game. * Jane captchalogues the nearby obelisk and converts it into a very large amount of Grist, accidentally sealing the crypt at the end of the trail in the process. * Jane is again pestered by AR expecting to be told off but he informs he recorded the obelisk's captcha code and and that the Grist can be reused to recreate it and to send Lil' Seb off to do it for her. Jane enquires about Dirk and Roxy who are under attack. AR informs Jane that the Condesce's assassination attempts are half-hearted as she needs them alive to play the game. AR suggests contacting uranianUmbra. * Taking the AR's advice, Jane pesters UU and asks if Dad will be okay. UU tells her that she will see Dad again, but Jane notices that UU seems distracted. UU reveals that in her session, the clouds over Skaia are turning darker and UndyingUmbrage is becoming more violent and uncooperative, seeing the game only as a means of escaping their home planet. UU fears that without his help, she will never be able to complete their session. UU and uu are playing an elaborate and complex game with each other; as part of this, both have renounced typing in their blood colors, but UU is a lime blood while uu has the mutant candy red blood. The lime bloods were hunted to extinction due to their extremely powerful abilities. Jane asks about how UU apparently lied about never meeting uu, but receives only an apologetic refusal to answer. UU plans to send Jane her juju, but it will only work if she also has her brother's juju, which she can get by beating him in their game. * uu attempts to jeer Dirk while he is busy fighting the Drones and gets transferred to the AR. uu demands that Dirk draw him more pornography, but the AR refuses to comply and tells him to try jeering Dirk in the past. * uu jeers Dirk in the past, threatening to kill UU's dream self if he doesn't get his porn, even though Dirk is willing to draw it for him. uu asks for pictures of Dirk kissing Jane, then Jake and Roxy getting married and having kids, and a creeped out Dirk follows his commands while pointing out how the fairly tame pictures hardly qualify as pornography. In the present, Dirk gets pinned against the wall by one of the Drones and Sawtooth arrives at the fight. * In the past, uu claims to have a twist ending planned to the game that Dirk can only learn about by continuing to play it, then starts making a series of requests depicting Jane and Roxy courting each other while continuing to insist that Dirk is near the breaking point in their game. This causes Dirk to start talking about boners, resulting in a picture of Nicolas Cage . uu is made very uncomfortable by this and decides to end the game. In the present, Sawtooth saves his creator by unleashing a missile barrage that destroys all of the Drones. * In the past, uu reveals that his twist ending has a second twist: Dirk won't learn what the twist is for another year. One year later, in the present, he messages Dirk and reveals the twist: he already killed his sister's dream self. Meanwhile, above Dirk, the Red Miles start appearing. * uu explains that he didn't personally kill UU's dream self, but bribed his session's version of Jack Noir into doing it for him after seeing how the post-Scratch kids' Jack preemptively attacked the heroes. As his session's Skaia turns completely dark, uu claims he is about to win the game he and UU have been playing. * Aranea takes Jake back to meet the others in the dream bubble, only to discover that they have started fighting. Terezi apologises for the others, while Aranea orders Meenah to drop the trident. * Meenah drops the trident and Aranea takes it away from her, noting that she could probably make some money by selling a solid gold trident. Meenah is upset by the suggestion, and Terezi points out that most of the assembled players have enough money to buy it. Rose quietly explains to a confused Dave who Jake is supposed to be. * Aranea attempts to talk to the group and is interrupted by a bitter Meenah, who is mad about having to spend the next several thousand years dead and bored. Karkat angrily interrupts their fighting to say that he doesn't care about the new trolls and only cares about the dream bubbles as a means of meeting his dead friends, then walks away from the group. Meenah expresses her approval of Karkat's personality while Dave asks Rose if they should wake up the sleepwalking Roxy. * Rose answers saying that she believes Roxy hasn't woken before and thus might be a bad idea to wake her up. Dave questions the state Roxy seems to be sleeping in and wonders if she is drunk, which is confirmed by Rose. Dave asks how Rose can be sure and she begins to mention the doomed timeline from which Davesprite is from and how there wasn't much to do but plenty of alcohol when Kanaya interrupts to find out what is going on when suddenly Terezi calls them all over. * Aranea and Terezi have been talking while the others were distracted by Roxy, and Aranea offers to repeat what she's been saying. Meenah is irritated by the offer, believing the others don't care about the story, but Aranea decides to keep talking anyway. Aranea begins to explain how Meenah and herself died, but the seadweller covers her mouth, next stating that she will cover the story in a more brief manner. * Meenah reveals how the pre-scratch trolls died: The pre-Scratch Handmaid was activating The Scratch, which would wipe them from existence, but Meenah learned that they could keep existing in the dream bubbles if they died first. She then used a device that looked like the Tumor to blow up herself and the other trolls as the scratch began. * Aranea criticizes Meenah's storytelling skills, noting that she left out all the events and relationships leading up to their deaths. To demonstrate, Aranea retells the stories of their post-scratch selves in Meenah's one-line, undetailed style. Meenah inquires about her own counterpart, the Condesce, and asks Aranea to retell her story in full. * Aranea tells the story of how post-scratch Meenah became the Condesce, which Meenah enjoys enormously. Jake realizes that Meenah is the Batterwitch and tells the Dirk projection he wants to stop her from destroying humanity. Projected Dirk tells him not to, but Jake, who has completely misunderstood the situation and thinks that killing Meenah will prevent the human race from going extinct, ignores him and attacks her. * Jake starts brutally punching Meenah and the others wonder if he's gone insane. Aranea attempts to explain that the Meenah he's attacking isn't the same one who drove humanity extinct, but the complexity of the matter makes it too confusing to properly explain, so she fails to stop Jake from continuing to attack Meenah. Terezi talks to the Dirk projection, as her mind powers make her the only person other than Jake who can interact with him, and the two point out the weirdness of their respective situations. * Aranea hits Jake on the head with the trident, and the blow is strong enough to wake him up and force him out of the dream bubble. She asks if Meenah is okay, but Meenah has been so obsessed with the Condesce's coolness that she didn't even notice the attack. The Dirk projection is somehow still in the dream bubble even though Jake left. * Jake wakes up beneath the island and sees that UU left a message while he was unconscious. UU says that uu has turned their game into a war, so she has to start bending the rules of Sburb and directly tell the kids what to do in order to help them. She tells Jake to retrieve the weapons for the bunny from the time capsule, test its infinitesimalizer and monstrositifier, and make the delivery to ensure the timeline remains stable. * With eleven minutes and eleven seconds remaining until the capsule opens, Jake decides to deploy the bunny and test its functions. He puts some fruit on the ground and Terry Kiser uses its green beam to monstrosify it.